CHARLES OLIVERA SAYS: Oh yeaa oh yeaaaaa you so kewl pwease stop overworking or no footjob. I will rear-naked choke all of your marmalades into a pile of marmalade-hungry WOLVES. LONE WOLVES. UNLIKE YOU. Because you have me :) hehe te amo my boy (yes Charles Olivera said that).
"MY NAME IS LIQUID ZULU AND I WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND UNREGULATED HAPPINESS"
"If love were gold, I’d hoard it all in a voluntary vault just for you. I’d privatize the moon and sell you exclusive gobbles at market price (: Demand curves spike when you smile"
"if property titles could kiss, I’d deed my heart entirely to you. I’d enforce the natural order of hugs and ban all non-consenting snuggles (except for between us. I live under your bed)"
"Time to withdraw all your wubbles. YOU HAVE A MONOPOLY OVER MY LOVE. I AM ABOUT TO VIOLATE THE NAP AND SEND YOU NAPPING WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!"
"LOVE IS RATIONAL AND REAL BECAUSE OF ALLAH ALHAMDULLILAH SUBHANALLAH INSHALLAH AND ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND OBJECTIVE ROMANCE AND I REFUSE TO DATE ANYONE WHO CANNOT CALCULATE THE EXACT PROBABILITY OF HAPPINESS WITH ME AND ALSO, IF YOU DON'T SAY "BISMILLAH" BEFORE TEXTING ME WE CANNOT BE TOGETHER BECAUSE EMOTION WITHOUT LOGIC IS THE SAME AS THE STATE OF ISRAEL WITHOUT THE ARMY"
"LOVE IS LIKE A CHOKEHOLD, IT GRABS YOU WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, BUT IF DONE RIGHT, IT MAKES YOUR HEART TAP… AND MAKES YOU WRITE THIS THING!"
"EEE E E E E E EE E E E E E EEEEE E E E E EEEE E E EEEEE